You know it's a good night when...

Dallas threw one heck of a party last night! As promised in his email invite there was fire, love and a keg.... I

As a D-D, I spent much of the night packed onto the swing with JA, Jessa and an ever-changing 4rth person, watching what all the drunkies were up to and calculating the percentage of Jeffs and Ians present at the party.

Speaking of Ians - Ian Goodwillie somehow managed to not sleep with Vance last night! Even though Vance told him "You have to sleep with me tonight"...
No worries though, Vance hasn't turned gay - it was a case of mistaken identity. He thought Ian was me... You know, given that I'm over 6' with a shaved head and a beard... and am a man... and all those other similarities...

In further cases of mistaken identity:
~Erin Winkler showed up (the little sneak!!) and is convinced that I am Audrey Hepburn... But as I am 6'5" with a shaved head and a beard and am a man, I really don't see just how she made this mistake!!
~A girl who looked like Diana, and said her name was Diana was also there... But it can't have been Diana... But she was sober, not too drunk to stand, so it CAN'T have been Diana!
~Jessa has mistaken JA and I for people who are extremely dull. And, in a rather contradicting case of mistaken identity, a faulty source appears to have tricked her into thinking that I'm neat.
~The percentage of Jeffs rose to around 23% when Mark arrived, but fell back to a miniscule 14%, when it was discovered that his name was, in fact, Mark.
~Graeme mistook Vance for a either a pro wrestler or a blow up doll and gave him many elbow drops on the front lawn.
~Dallas mistook Cayley for having a dick shaped like a soup can, and himself for having one like a Tiki torch... I suspect that this is wrong and that they both have dicks that are shaped like dicks.
~Travis mistook Shannon for someone who does not like the skins of cucumbers. I mistook her for someone who is pregnant - I was corrected when she said she didn't want any chocolate from the store.
~Once again, everyone thought that Jeff and Chantelle (sp?) were there. I seem to be the only one who knows that their names are really Mike and Laurie. Everyone else has a faulty source.
~Dallas was mistaken for an excellent host... Oh, no, wait, that isn't a mistaken identity, he really was an excellent host!
~Steven got confused and thought Sharon and Jill were too cool to come out with our lameass friends. I had to clarify, that THEY were the lameasses because they hadn't come to the party. I mean, who goes to Regina anyways?? :)

Anyhow, it was a kickass party, and I really should go check if all the drunkies in the living room are still alive...
Here's hopin'!